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Sep. 11th, 2017
Models of bad behaviour
A veritable plague of Nurgle supporters turned up to the game, so many that the humans avoided the stadium in fear of catching something dreadful, giving You Donít Know +2 FAME.† The crowd made the Nurgle team strut around and resulted in some Bad Habits and Oltrayds really wanted to prove his worth, stating no one was going to get him off the field as he was an Iron Man.

You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive.† They did poorly with the LOS hits which allowed a rapid response with the Blitzer Ewart KOíing the Warrior Sprat on their first turn.† Seeing his teammate dragged off the field enraged Thariper who blitzed Ewart seriously injuring him and putting him out for the next match.† Then the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax pushed another Warrior Piper off the sideline with a few assists and the rest of the half devolved into shoving and shouting with very little movement upfield until in desperation Enaboks blitzed his way free to stand in the EZ and Oltrayds was blocked free and ran down to pass for the TD which Enaboks failed to catch.

The fans were disappointed in the first half and threw a Rock, KOíing Georgio at the kick and giving You Donít Know the numbers advantage for the first time.† It didnít stop Model Humans making a hole with the Ogre Horrible Harry blitzing the rotter Grimthor to the ground and letting the Catcher E.N. Trapment run through with Menion providing some defence and the lineman Grimthor marking up the Beast of Nurgle.† Grimthor regretted his bravery when Thariper Blitzed and gained his second (and skill making) casualty Badly Hurting Grimthor and marking up the feeble Catcher while Nimble knocked Horrible Harry to the ground and the other two Warriors spread their Disturbing Presence aura around to distract other receivers.† The skilled Thrower Harvey Chucks was not bothered, running forward to remain just out of the effect of three different Disturbing Presence zones and passed to the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax who failed the 5+ catch with a reroll.† Thariper hit the weak E.N. Trapment but only managed to push him towards the sideline and Oltrayds made his first fumbling attempt to get the ball in hopes of the team actually managing a TD. Horrible Harry got to his feet and blitzed Black but hit the turf himself, freeing Black to move down and remind Thariper what he was there for, letting him push E.N. Trapment off the sideline.† Back in the middle of the field, Oltrayds grabbed the ball but fumbled the pass to Enaboks who had been waiting out in the open. Horrible Harry stood up again and this time blitzed Thariper for a both down with the Beast of Nurgle KOíd.† Oltrayds picked up the ball again and tried to pass to Enaboks who was in walking distance of the line but fumbled the throw again.† With most of his team mates prone in a mob in centre field surrounded by Nurgle players, Jarad Jax tried to run around the LOS and get to the ball but failed his dodge (despite the dodge skill) and was stunned.† Oltrayds picked up the ball and walked over to Enaboks who was unable to take the handoff and for the 4th time the ball hit the ground again.† With no one now able to get to the ball or the two Pestigors Horrible Harry once again blitzed and this time he was successful with a casualty on the only skilled Rotter on the field Black who suffered a Broken Neck and a Badly Hurt, giving the Ogre his first skill.† Oltrayds was no close enough to the EZ to score himself so he ignored Enaboks, walked over to the ball and failed the 2+ pickup.

Final Result TD 0-0 Cas 2-1

The last turn of the first half and the last FOUR turns of the second half were turnovers with a roll of 1 on ball handling, all of which could have resulted in a TD that turn.† The only SPP earned outside MVPs was by the two Big Guys who both earned skills from casualties.
- Carbrawn
Aug. 5th, 2017
Against the odds
Mummies Boys arrived with a wizard in a cage to help them with the game.
At the start of the match Hoar us thought the ref was looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves, refusing to help his team mates. It didnít stop him hurting his opponents himself though and his glovers were spattered at the end with him putting two Rotters in the casualty bin.

Mummies Boys won the toss and elected to kick, lining the front of the field with muscle to try and stop the Nurgle team getting past. It helped delay things as despite Oltrayds catching the kick, You Donít Know suffered a turnover without moving the ball when Thariper hit Tooting Car Man and they both fell to the ground, Thariper undamaged but Tooting Car Man suffering a Niggling Injury which he luckily regenerated. The next turn Really Poorly got through the Thick Skull of Rah Spew Tin to give his team a 2 player advantage and the ball was moved up to near the LOS. Then the Mummies Boys decided to make things difficult. The Wizard was brought out, Oltrayds hit the turf along with his one of his protectors Nimble and the ball was next to Thariper and Really Poorly. Realising that Blackmail wasnít likely to work on someone with the memory of a goldfish, someone slipped tinted lenses over the eyes of Thariper who got confused over who was on his team, and dodged away from Really Poorly to foul Oltrayds. With Really Poorly alone next to the ball he was blitzed to the ground and Ritzblah ran in to try and get possession. The ball bounced around from player to player over the next few minutes with numerous failures to catch it until it finally landed back in the Nurgle half. Thariper hit Bob Loblaw out of the way, Seriously Injuring him and he failed to recover, Oltrayds got to his feet and grabbed the ball with a GFI to move back into the protection of a cage and provide an assist for O'Neill to hit Thofoth Fothof next to the sideline. Seeing the luck Thariper had, Tooting Car Man thumped Really Poorly into the casualty bin as well, (his Decay ending in two BH results) and then he moved to assist Hoar us knocking Thariper to the ground where he stayed for a while, unable to collect his thoughts enough to stand up. O'Neill blitzed Thofoth Fothof off the sideline where the crowd broke his hip, permanently reducing his movement as he failed to regenerate. On the opposite widezone Nimble had been taking on multiple opponents without much success which ended up with him at risk of going off the sideline until the blitz by Ritzblah was halted when he looked his target and couldnít bring himself to touch the oozing exterior. With time running out, Nickelson ran across the field to get near the EZ and some targeted blocks opened a path for Oltrayds to run through and try a pass from right next to the rotter. He was lucky he was that close as the attempted catch went straight off Nickelsonís face and back into Oltrayds hands. Trying to free up some defenders Nurgle players were smashed to the ground with Hoar us crushing O'Neill with his massive bandaged fists, Badly Hurting him AND fracturing his skull. With no rerolls left Oltrayds didnít trust his team mate to take possession and ran towards the EZ himself for the T8 TD.
You Donít Know set up deep to prevent taking too much damage and missed the chance to do anything with the Blitz kickoff result. After the LOS rotters all hit the ground, the newcomer to the team, the Thro-Ra Fah Chukhah, strolled over to the ball, easily picked it up and lobbed it to the nearby Blitz-Ra Nerhfren Needgul who caught it for the first completion of the season for the Khemri.

The second half started the way it was expected to with a cage of ST5 moving forwards and the Thro-Ra with the ball in the middle. Then Fah Chukhah stepped on a Mine, he kept his feet along with his rear defenders but the Tomb Guardians Tooting Car Man and A Noob us went down, removing the front of the cage. Piper smacked Ritzblah to the ground and out of the way, leaving Horner to blitz Fah Chukhah backwards between his rear defenders with the ball bouncing behind Hoar us. Nickelson pushed Atah The Zealous from his spot next to Oltrayds who dodged around the back of the mob, GFIíd onto the ball, grabbed it from the feet of Hoar us, GFIíd and Dodged away for a pass to Black who had moved back to wait in scoring range. Once again a Rotter was unable to catch an accurate pass and the ball was on the ground. Steve Blitzed Oltrayds and stunned him, Hoar us marked up the ball and Fah Chukhah ran in to grab it but the TZ of Black prevented success. Fah Chukhah was then flat on his back after a solid thump from Black but no one else was close enough to try for the ball. Looking at the clock, Fah Chukhah realised he would have to push himself to the limit to get the equalising TD. Trusting in his team mates to keep the Nurgle horde at bay, after Black was pushed away, he got to his feet picked up the ball and darted into the open with two GFIís to get close to the LOS. The Nurgle coach had no faith in his players dodging ability so he tried to free up Thariper by blocking one of his markers so the Beast of Nurgle could blitz the other and put tentacles on the ball carrier. The first block failed with a Both Down against Nerhfren Needgul and Fah Chukhah was off again. Two more GFIs put him in line for a T8 walk in TD and out of range of any blitz leaving Sparrow to stand up and make two GFIís just to mark the Thro-Ra and Nimble failed his dodge to try for two GFIís for the second marker. Rerolls in hand, Fah Chukhah just needed to dodge away to draw the game, he failed and the ball bounced back to the feet of Sparrow. The Great Unclean One smiled down at his representatives. With no chance of recovery for any failure Sprat got to his feet and pushed Nerhfren Needgul away from Oltrayds, Sparrow picked up the ball, ran around the nearby skeleton and made a short pass to Oltrayds. The inaccurate throw spiralled wildly in the air and landed right in the hands of the Pestigor who walked carefully downfield to put the ball delicately in the arms of Black who confidently strode into the EZ to end the game.
The Khemri coach finally pulled out his Magic Sponge and wiped away the broken hip of Thofoth Fothof.

Final Result TD 2-0 Cas 3-3
Three pass attempts by the Nurgle team, two failed catches for accurate passes and a successful catch for the inaccurate pass for 0 completions.
The Thro-Ra chance of success for the final TD was 75% with the reroll, the odds of the Nurgle team T16 TD attempt being successful was 18.5% based on the pass being accurate. The actual sequence of events including the inaccurate pass landing back on the target was 0.98%.
- Carbrawn
Aug. 3rd, 2017
Mummy Mia
You don't know are going into their next game with trepidation. While they have had a good season so far, for the first time they are facing a team that outmuscles them, has more Mighty Blow as well as a higher average movement.
- Carbrawn
July 11th, 2017
Giant slayers not Dragon slayers
The Drakwald Dragons had droves of fans turn up to the game, just shy of double the number supporting You Donít Know.

The Human Catcher Gyro Mosspedlar had decided as he had the most SPP on the team he should be treated with more respect and was on a serious Ego Trip which resulted in him taking almost no part in the game at all.
You Donít Know received the kick and quickly moved up to near the LOS with the ball in the hands of Oltrayds but the Nurgle team was having no luck getting rid of opponent players with pushes all over the field. This played right into the hands of the Humans as a Dirty Block from Baxter Sewerscraper sent the Beast of Nurgle Thariper to the ground stunned where her remained for some time after being too Really Stupid to get up. Realising they couldnít depend on Thariper, the rest of the players moved around him and a cage was formed with Warriors and Rotters but was unable to progress without the extra strength to push through and pin players with tentacles. Unable to break through, one of the human lineman tried yelling out ĎLook, a distractioní but the Nurgle team laughed at his attempt to be a Disturbing Presence in the game and all EIGHT of the players nearby continued with their actions unperturbed. Finally on T6, Thariper pulled himself together than thumped the unskilled lineman Roland Gunkhunter into the casualty bin Badly Hurt, the first player to leave the field. The constant harassment and delays had an impact and Oltrayds had to make a break with minimal coverage to get in range of a TD, on turn 8 with no rerolls, his team mate Harkness blitzed the last marker out of the way and the Pestigor walked over the line for the TD.

A High Kick allowed the AG4 Thrower Nick Nailer to get under the ball on the LOS in the widezone with only the nearby disturbing presence stopping him from making the catch. With most of the team on the LOS the Humans were desperate and threw blocks and made dodges to free players up to protect the ball. You Donít Know made some gaps and Rotter ran around both sides to pressure Nick Nailer, forcing the blitz to be used on saving the ball carrier for several consecutive turns, preventing downfield movement. Mobs started to form on the LOS, in the widezone and downfield as the Nurgle players marked up possible receivers and spread Disturbing Presence around the field, hampered by a sequence of two Serious Injuries removing Sprat and Horner from the field until they slowly regenerated. Some lucky blocks and dodges opened the way for the faster Humans and it looked like a TD was imminent until Oltrayds dodged from his marker, dodged past another defender and made two GFIís to put the Thrower on the ground and the ball on the sideline. Once again the Humans exploded into action with positioning critical to a sequence of actions allowing the AG4 to once again gain possession and move into scoring distance. Thariper saw a chance to shine and the lumbering Beast of Nurgle blitzed a lineman out of the way and made two GFIís himself to put Tentacles on the ball carrier. With every other player marked or out of range it came down to the Nick Nailer himself, using the last team reroll he escape the tentacles and made the dodge to cross the line for the equaliser on T15.
You Donít Know had two turns to score, no rerolls and low movement but a complete disregard for player safety still made the winning touchdown possible. A horrendous kick to the opposite widezone added unnecessary complexity but a blitz by Thariper pushed the gap open and formed the back corner of the cage, several GFIs from Rotters got the front of the cage into play and it was time to pick up the ball. A handoff and a quick pass would put a Rotter into the middle of the cage and in range to score but instead the rotter Al-ready Gone ended up staring blankly at the ball (and his fingers), lying on the ground next to him because Oltryds was too far away to reach it. Nathan Frostbite marked Al-ready and Drew Diredrench blitzed him to the ground and pickup the ball and the Dragons finished their last action with possession and You Donít Know in serious doubt to get the win. They were not aware that Al-ready had Knuckle Dusters in his pocket, he blitzed the ball carrier to the ground while Harkness ran from the front of the cage across the other side of the field and made two GFIs into the EZ. Oltrayds tried to channel an Elf he ate before the game, he needed to dodge, pick up the ball in a TZ, dodge again, and GFI to make a Long Pass for the 50/50 accurate pass. Success, success, success, the crowd was gasping and the Dragons coach was shaking his head in resignation, 2+, 4+, 3+ left to goÖ.Oltrayds tripped to the sound of groans from spectators and the game was over.

Final Result TD 1-1 Cas 1-2
The first casualties suffered by the team and the least caused. The Humans broke Tentacles on multiple occasions including the TD where a failure would have left the Thrower open to a Beast of Nurgle block which could have put him on the sideline and the ball off the field.
- Carbrawn
June 23rd, 2017
Hard fought and won
You Donít Know came into the match with very low expectations. Despite the unexpected win against the Dark Elves in round 1, they expected the sheer speed and agility of the Elves to dominate the game.
Johnny Waterboy was waiting in the dugout for the Tree Hugging Hippies, giving them a helpful boost to KO recovery but it seemed they had been drinking something else before the match and their Bad Habits removed their rerolls for the first half.

After gaining FAME and winning the toss, the Nurgle team set up for a safe receive to cage up early due to the mobility of their opponents. The LOS hits were all pushes against Journeymen and the blitz gave them a stun result while the cage formed with Oltrayds holding the ball inside, then he stepped on a Mine (the Chaos Lords smiled and Oltrayds remained standing, as did his rotter team mate in front of him with only the rear defence prone). Disappointed with the lack of success with their prepared explosives, the Wood Elves ran down to surround the ball carrier with Petal blitzing him for a push result. The push put Oltrayds in a better spot to dodge away and run across field to form the back corner of a cage where he handed off to the Rotter O'Neill, the first time anyone on the team other than the Pestigor had touched the ball. Unfortunately, the Beast of Nurgle Thariper started dribbling at that point instead of hitting the journeyman in front of him, opening one corner of the cage and leaving it open for Petal to run in and blitz OíNeill to the ground with the ball scattering out. Elm moved over and picked up the ball from the feet of Oltrayds, dodged away again to pass to Thorns who was out of hitting range but fumbled the throw. Oltrayds waited until Petal was pushed away from him and then blitzed Elm to the ground, stunning him and continued on to mark the ball and Thorns while Harkness sprinted down to put another TZ on the ball, stumbling over his own feet and stunning himself. Lineelves ran from everywhere to give assists, allowing Thorns to blitz Oltrayds out of the way, pick up the ball and score, thus proving that even with no rerolls and suffering a KO each turn for the first 4 turns, the Wood Elves are more than a match for slow unskilled teams.
Johnny Waterboy allowed the Wood Elves to get back to 10 instead of 8 for the next drive. This time the kick was better positioned for the Nurgle team and they started a stronger cage near the LOS and moved downfield slowly over the next 3 turns. Eventually, they were just within scoring distance but with no less than six Elves in good position to stop them, one of those six tried a single dice block, relying on his Block skill but fell to the ground stunned. With some movement, You Donít Know had the setup to chainpush two Elves off the field and block the last one out of the way to open the widezone for a walk-in TD, the first block was a double skull, taking the final reroll and with the final unskilled elf staying standing after 4 block dice, the Nurgle team was in trouble. The Rotter Sparrow had to dodge out of the way letting the ball carrying Rotter OíNeill dodge through as well to get over the line and equalise on T8.

Kicking in the second half, You Donít Know set up to spread their Warriors and Disturbing Presence across a wide field. The Tree Hugging Hippies gathered the ball and moved both Wardancers downfield with several linemen to mark up defenders and keep them out of the way. Two Warriors were freed up by Rotter blocks and a third Blitzed his own way free to mark up the two Wardancers and the remaining standing Lineelf. From backfield, Roots didnít see the haze in the air and ran around the LOS to pass to Thorns thinking a single TZ and a reroll would see them through and he would only need two dodges to score. With a TZ and THREE Disturbing Presence auraís, the catch was failed. Thorns was pushed out of the way, the ball was gathered and caged at the LOS to start the move with Thariper crushing Fern to the ground, Smashing his Hip for a permanent movement reduction. The Hippies didnít give up, Petal dodges out of the pack downfield and leaped into the cage, putting Nickelson down but a bad bounce left the ball unattainable. With the Wardancer in the middle of the cage, one of the Rotters whispered in his ear that he had evidence that Petal was involved in fracking on protected native Sylvan glades. Petal turned his back on his teammate, allowing the lineman next to him to be KOíd and then himself ran across the field, blitzing and stunning Roots (the only skilled lineelf on the field) before scampering downfield away from the ball and standing next to the sideline where he was immediately pinned by the Warrior Sprat. The ball was once again caged, even closer to the EZ and after Piper blocked Thorns to the ground, Black fouled him for a stun. Petal tried to escape the widezone but failed the dodge and watched in horror as only feet away, Black fouled Thorns again, this time for a KO. The cage moved on. Petal got to his feet and ran downfield to blitz Thariper with 3 assists, trying to take him out of play so they could swarm the slow mob moving towards the EZ. Thariper went down but immediately got back to his feet and moved back in to hold the elves in tentacles while Warriors strolled up to provide assistance and prevent him being blocked again. The cage moved on. A last attempt was made, Petal escaped from the tentacles, dodged away and once again leaped into the cage for a 1D block but for the first time he failed and fell over allowing Oltrayds to walk over for the turn 16 winning TD.

Final Result TD 2-1 Cas 2-0
The Wardancers couldnít be stopped, 4 leaps into the cages to put down the ball carrier all successful without rerolls and only one failed block result (at the worst time). Key playmakers and they didnít fail any actions or hit the ground until late in the second half (at which point fouling started until one left the field. If it wasnít for the blackmail effectively keeping Petal from the ball carrier for 3 turns it was only a matter of time before a good bounce game them a runaway TD.
- Carbrawn
May 12th, 2017
Dark Elves welcome Nurgle
into their Hearts and Minds and Nervous System.

The Black Guards had obviously not been preparing for the season, one of their Blitzers was constantly looking over his shoulder waiting for the call from his Blackmailer and the team themselves were so unpractised they couldnít even get together the ability to use Re-rolls until the second Half (Bad Habits). Meanwhile, Thariper, knowing the bad reputation of previous Beasts of Nurgle was wearing Kid Gloves and refused to assist in Blocks or Fouls in case he got in trouble (it didnít stop him from crushing players personally).

The game started badly for the Dark Elves when Nimble Badly Hurt Michael on the LOS in the first turn and the Dark Elves werenít even able to attempt revenge with two consecutive Blitzers unable to even touch Sprat due to his Foul Appearance. Oltrayds hid behind some team mates and slowly moved downfield while the Dark Elves continued to be pummeled. The lineelf Al was killed by Thariper and Paulie was pushed off the sideline and KOíd and it wasnít until the second last turn of the half that Thariper failed a Really Stupid roll but by that point it was too late and Oltrayds walked over the line for a T8 TD.
The Black Guards lined up for some LOS thumping for T8 but even this fun was partially denied with the crowd deciding to Throw A Rock and stun the Rotter Nickelson giving them only two blocks before gaining their first SPP of the game with a completion to the Runner Don Vito.

A passing Bad Year Git ensured a touchback with the ball scattering ELEVEN squares from the kick which was lucky considering the crowd threw another Rock and stunned the Don Vito who was the only player in the backfield. A perfect Blitz stunning Oltrayds and innumerable dodges and GFIís to mark up every other Nurgle player in range gave the Black Guards as fairly simple Quick Pass (just out of range of disturbing presence) for the turn 2 equalising TD.
You don't know sacrificed some Rotters to mark up Dark Elves and take the hits while Oltrayds once again moved downfield. In an effort to contain two players at once with his tentacles, Thariper Blitzed the linelf Paulie killing him as he killed his teammate in the first half and adding another Rotter to the roster. The Guards decided discretion was the better part of valour and moved all their remaining players down the other end of the field to thump the Rotters they could reach and stay out of range of the appallingly slow movement of the Nurgle Warriors. They spent the last few turns doing this while Oltrayds finished moving in for the game winning T16 TD.

Final Result
TD 2-1 Cas 3-0 (2 Deaths)
At least the deaths were all lineelves
- Carbrawn
You don't know
Race:  Nurgle
Coach:  Carbrawn

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