Old Bulletins

Old bulletin board
June 1st, 2018
Darkness falls on Nurgle
Heinous Harm had fractionally more fans at the game, most likely to watch the Star Player Eldril Sidewinder in action.
You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive, they thought it had paid off when the Thariper immediately Badly Hurt the lineelf Hyph Hackuup on the LOS but the failed pickup of the kick by Oltrayds and the subsequent bounce caused havoc.
Eldril sprung into action and ran over to try and Hypnotise Sprat but had forgotten to take out his contact lenses (a fact he didnít realise for a few more turns). With the TZ still in place the Dark Elves took the chance anyway, blitzed away a ball marker and Harlotte ran over, picked up the ball and dodged out and into the clear with a maze of companions around her. The Nurgle players moved in a complicated pattern to close Dark Elf escape paths and open a way for Thariper to Blitz Hacker Hemi out of the way and move into put tentacles on the ball carrier, a both down prevent the marking but Hacker was Badly Hurt. Sprat knocked Eldril to the ground but failed to do any damage. Eldril got to his feet and tried his steely gaze once more but obviously failed and a Block & Blitz combo to let Harlotte escape failed to open any gaps at all, leaving the Witch Elf in trouble from Thariper. Unfortunately Thariper was dreaming of what he would do to Harlotte and failed to take any action at all, letting his tentacle slump limply at his side. Sprat thumped Eldril to the ground again to now effect and Oltrayds blitzed the front of the web surrounding the ball carrier, putting Heidi Stroyah down but failed to do anything. Eldril got to his feet and glanced wearily at Sprat who ignored him entirely but glared at the nearby lineelf who whispered what the problem was an rolled his own eyes as Eldril sheepily took out his contacts. With a solid blitz, the Guard Blitzer Horace Hatchman moved into position to grant multiple assists for team mates to crack open the wall and Harlotte moved downfield to scoring position in a cage of Dark Elves. Once more the Nurgle players moved and pushed their opponents around and once more Thariper Blitzed downfield, getting a 3rd lineelf off the field (Henry HiFiver in 3 hits but this time only a KO. With Henry out the way a GFI finally put tentacles on Harlotte. It was unfortunate for the Beast that Eldril had fixed his previous mistake, dodged out and ran down to Hypnotise the Big Guy, letting Harlotte walk over and hand off to Hugh Hurtya in the EZ, just out of Disturbing Presence range.
The Dark Elves put a High Kick ball on the back line and Otrayds failed another action with the ball. With a slow team and a length of the field TD required, You Donít know pulled out all the stops, Oltrayds managed to cage up and GFIís, dodges and blocks and blitzes were everywhere as they attempted to get receivers into place over the next two turns while the Dark Elves marked up and slowed the cage to a crawl. Oltrayds had marked up a blitzer to allow his teammate to blitz a gap and run through but he discovered that being only 2 paces from the sideline wasnít enough when Harlotte Frenzied him into position for the Blitzer to push him into the crowd where he was stunned. Eventually Thariper was Hypnotised again, the cage fell apart and on turn 7 Harlotte was able to blitz Oltrayds to the ground, stunning him and removing the AG4 from the now mandatory passing play with all receivers close enough to score sandwiched between two Elves except Really Poorly who just had the Block lineelf Habernath Haveanap in front of him. Sprat ran downfield and 2GFIís allowed him to blitz away Habernath, letting Really Poorly do 2 GFIís to get into the EZ. Piper pushed Harlotte away and Enaboks ran back downfield, picked up the ball, moved back over the LOS and with 2 GFIís got into Short Pass range for the successful completion and TD to equalise.
On turn 8 the Dark Elves made a completion in the backend and threw the 3 LOS blocks to no effect.

Having not seen any injuries since turn 2, the crowd Threw a Rock onto the pitch, KOíing Enaboks, the Strip Ball Pestigor and despite Eldril failing to hypnotise the Warrior Sprat, an easy blitz saw the gap open and most of the Dark Elves downfield with a protected ball carrier leading to a fast TD with Thariper refusing to participate in the defense.
There was plenty of time for the equaliser except that Eldril came into his own, removing tentacles and TZs with ease and Harlotte used her Leap to jump into a cage and put down Oltrayds. An early failed action left the game open for a 3-1 lead to Heinous Harm, Harlotte got free and stood in the EZ, Horace moved in to grab the loose ball but the GFI to get into Short Pass range failed with a reroll and he hit the turf. Two rotters took the opportunity with a GFI each to Blitz Harlotte off the EZ and into the gentle hands of the crowd. Oltrayds stood up and grabbed the ball, trying a quick pass to Harkness to have the ball caged up but the catch was fumbled. Turns passed with little progress until Nimble Badly Hurt another unskilled lineman, Thariper finally got Eldril off the field with a KO and it was 11 v 8 but too late. With 2 rotters still moving back up field from surfing the Witch Elf, Enaboks still KOíd and Oltrayds carrying the ball, possible scorers were thin on the ground. It came down to desperation again, this time a markup to get a blitz to free Sunpolak who still had to dodge and GFI into the EZ, Oltrayds ran out of his cage and GFIíd to get into range for a Long Pass, it was accurate, now just an AG3 catch for the drawÖ.once more Nurgle frowned on his representatives trying to catch a ball and it was fumbled.

Final Result TD 1-2 Cas 0-3
Even though he failed more Hypnotic Gaze than he passed, Eldrilís Dodge & MA8 made a big difference on the field.
- Carbrawn
May 9th, 2018
Running the Rodents
The smell clearly kept the crowds away with the odour of rotting meat and rodents soaked by rain resulting in only 18,000 fans at the game.
You Donít Know won the toss and elected to receive so they didnít risk a T16 TD from the ridiculous speed of the Skaven. A Touchback from the kick gave them a boost so they didnít have to try and pick up the ball in the rain (or so they thought) and while everyone was watching the ref hand possession to Oltrayds the LOS exploded with action with Sprat Badly Hurting the linerat Zhashqel Wildchaser and the Beast Thariper KOíing his teammate Zhokninq Farrowchaser and marking up the Gutter Runner Znotch Cragmaul with tentacles. A quick cage formation up near the LOS and it looked like Nurgle was going to be happy.
The Rat Ogre Big Rat was nervous about being too rough and played with Kid Gloves but the rest of the Skaven werenít worried. They knew about the Mine that happened to be right under the feet of the ball carrier. Luckily Oltrayds kept his feet but one side of the cage was down and shortly afterwards a Blitz with Wrestle saw the ball in the grass and open. Skonq Deepbender bolted around the LOS and made 2 GFIs to grab the ball and run clear and into easy TD range. Znotch failed to escape the Tentacles.
Skonq was himself Blitzed to the ground by Enaboks but an unlucky bounce had the ball on the sideline and it took 2 GFIs for Oltrayds to get there and pick it up, leaving him in a precarious position having to rely on the Gutter Runners low strength to save him from being pushed off.
Znotch failed to escape the Tentacles. Skonq stood up and made the risky -2D block and double push saw Oltrayds surfed and injured by the crowd (he regenerated) and they threw the ball straight across field to the open where Cretch Crowcrest gathered it up after circling the LOS.
The ball hit the ground several times more with the Skaven losing players to KO each turn until they were down to 6 and Znotch seemed eternally trapped in tentacles. You Donít Know were running out of time and desperate so after Rotter Really Poorly caught the ball on a bounce he ran upfield and GFIíd to make a pass to the rookie Pestigor Lantan who caught it despite the rain and was close enough to score in the remaining 2 turns.
That was when Blackmail raised its ugly head and the Clawed Warrior Horner left his post marking the Skaven Thrower and blitzed Lantan, putting both of the to the ground.
Really Poorly ran downfield to give a second scorer option and Lantan stood up, picked up the ball again and moved into GFI range for a T8 TD.
Thrikch Pinegaze bolted in for a Blitz putting Lantan down once more and tried to gather the ball but failed in the wet. There was still a chance for glory, a Blitz by Enaboks resulted in a double push which didnít even get Thrikch away from the ball and Lantan was the playmaker, he moved to pick up the ball in a TZ in the rain, dodged out again and made a GFI , he only needed one more to hand off and let Really Poorly walk in for the TD but slipped in the mud.
Big Rat could see only one way his team could score but he needed to free Znotch from the Beast of Nurgle tentacles where he had been for 6 turns. He roared and charged but the Both Down resulted in the Rat Ogre Badly Hurt which the team apothecary quickly rushed in to fix.

The Skitterers recovered only 2 from 5 Kos and with an injured linerat they had only 7 to set up. It didnít seem to affect them, with players positioned out of Disturbing Presence range the gathered the ball, made a pass and ran Znotch down the widezone to stand on the sideline with Skonq and Zhokninq Farrowchaser staged between him and the rest of the field. Big Rat then blitzed down the widezone to remove a Pestigor threat and add some more protection but once again hit the turf and he was stunned.
The Rattsburgh coach was surprised when the Warrior Nimble blitzed Zhokning onto the sideline next to the ball carrier, Skonq was fenced in to force multiple dodges and then Thariper ran from the LOS, doing to GFIs to pin Znotch to the sideline, putting all 3 skaven in Tentacles. It looked like the rats were going to have 3 players surfed despite Side Step and the Skaven would have 4 v 11. Then the secret playbook came out and Znotch performed the Kingmaker Play! With improbably ease the Gutter Runner made success after success for 2 Tentacle Escapes, both with Dodges into TZs, made another TZ dodge, another dodge out, went out of his way to make a -2D Blitz to put down Enaboks in the hope of an injury and then GFIíd to cross the line for the TD. Bookies calculated the likelihood of that play at 10000 to 1.

The remainder of the half was a circus with You Donít Knowís cage forming and reforming, pivoting its corners with new players on the outskirts and slowly moving downfield. The ball movement left Big Rat behind and when he stunned himself blitzing Harkness the Rotter took offence, pulled a Hidden Blade from his boot and fouled the big guy, KOing him but was spotted by the Ref and sent off. With their Thrower taken down by O'Neill and out for the next game and a few more KOís the Skaven were at a severe numbers disadvantage but it didnít stop them. After Thariper made a critical failure and became Really Stupid Thrikch dodged and GFIíd to make a 1D blitz to put the ball carrying Oltrayds down very late in the game. There was only just enough time for Oltrayds to stand and move over the line on T16 for the equalizer.

Final Result TD 1-1 Cas 3-2
Blackmail, Mine and Kingmaker Play really saved the Skaven. With their lack of numbers, Blackmail stopped what was headed to be fairly safe TD and Kingmaker Play recovered from an apparently devastating turn.
- Carbrawn
Nov. 25th, 2017
Pre Semi Final
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final siren
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll foul you hard, and youíll be cryin

I've played a season that's full
I've even out-scored the Wood Fey
But more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Failed Go-For-Its, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And crushed the Elves without exception

I planned each charted drive
Each careful step along the ball play
And more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I Blocked Off more than I POWíed you
But through it all, when there was doubt
I chewed you up and spat you out
I took the push and I stood tall
And did it Nurgles way

I've won more than Iíve tied
I've had my fill of never losing losing
And now, as the season subsides
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say - not in a nice way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it Nurgles way

For what is a coach, what has he got
If not a trophy, then he has naught
But to hurt you when he truly means
To hear your players eternal screams
My record shocks but I made the Blocks
And did it Nurgles way

Yes, it was Nurgles way
- Carbrawn
Oct. 31st, 2017
How did we get here?
You Donít Know went into the match with no expectations of victory as they have for every other game. By some unlikely twist of fate they have now managed to get through to the finals without a loss, one will no doubt come eventually and the result will not bother the Great Unclean One in the slightest.
The Shady Grays had a clear advantage in the crowd and hired a Wizard and a Babe for the game. After also winning the toss, they elected to receive and immediately unveiled Knuckle Dusters which Ere' Breaker used to Blitz Thariper to the ground while on the LOS Kal Maxtron smashed Alphonse Norman to the turf Badly Hurting him as well as giving him a Fractured Skull. Realising that one of the Rotters on the LOS was fully conscious, Alex Pepperange ran across and with the assist of 6 of his closest teammates, booted Harkness in the head, stunning him. From his position on the ground, Thariper thought he saw the ref looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves for the rest of the match but while he was considering this he did nothing else for the Nurgle teams turn while his team mates scrambled around trying to work out a defence with one player off and 3 more inactive. Over the next few turns the game swung back with Thariper finally getting a clue and Blitzing Steve LaCroix into the casualty bin Badly Hurt and the only Human Catcher Daniel Fryse failing a dodge and KOing himself. This final failure left the Grays out of position and allowed a break away force to take down Andrew Vevusus who was carrying the ball and another lineman was KOíd to give the Nurgle team a numbers advantage and possession momentarily until Enaboks failed to catch the ball for the walk-in TD. The Blitzer James Darnum bolted across field, knocking Enaboks out of the way and the Grays had two TZs on the grounded ball. James was celebrated by his team until he showed the real reason he was there, his ineffectual Blitz again Enabocks left him perfectly positioned to follow his Blackmail instructions, pushing the lineman Alphonse Norman away and letting Oltrayds pick up the ball and hand it to Enabocks who did a GFI for the score.

The second half started with You Donít Know grabbing the kick and moving into a protected spread cage behind the LOS. The spread didnít last with strategic blocks and blitzes getting 5 players into position for the Fireball that launched from the dugout. Only one Warrior on the corner was affected and his armour wasnít beaten. Unfortunately, the Beast was distracted by the explosion and lost track of the game, leaving the newly formed cage very weak which led to Kal Maxtron blitzing Enaboks in the side of the cage and Badly Hurting him (which he failed to regenerate). The drooling Thariper was then hit by a mass of Human players, putting him on the ground. Chaos reigned for several turns with the full complement of both team in a mob spreading from one widezone to the centre of the field and possession changed more than once until Rotters started leaving the field and Shady Grays had the numbers to make a move. First the Blitzer James Darnum was freed to move into scoring range, then the Catcher Daniel made a successful dodge into a TZ and out again and moved down to give them two options for the TD and the Lineman Xavier Anderson grabbed the ball behind his team mates and out of reach of all except the most risky of Blitzes. Oltrayds used his AG4 to dodge over and GFI to mark the ball carrier and Thariper GFIíd to put tentacles on the two receivers while a Warrior got close enough for Disturbing Presence to impact the Blitzer and the unskilled Rotter Al-ready Gone put the extra TZ on the Catcher. It came down to the Grays, some positioning and a Blitz gave them a chain push to get the Catcher out of Tentacles (but still in a TZ and Disturbing Presence) and 12 ran down to do the handoff but tripped on the GFI to see the game end.

Final Result TD 1-0 Cas 2-2
With a win against a Human team finally under their belt after two Draws, You Donít Know now move into SF position as the only team still undefeated. With they play the Chaos team Black Legion or replay the Humans Drakwald Dragons?
Shady Grays now go into an elimination match against the Wood Elf team Tree Hugging Hippies.
- Carbrawn
Sep. 11th, 2017
Models of bad behaviour
A veritable plague of Nurgle supporters turned up to the game, so many that the humans avoided the stadium in fear of catching something dreadful, giving You Donít Know +2 FAME.† The crowd made the Nurgle team strut around and resulted in some Bad Habits and Oltrayds really wanted to prove his worth, stating no one was going to get him off the field as he was an Iron Man.

You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive.† They did poorly with the LOS hits which allowed a rapid response with the Blitzer Ewart KOíing the Warrior Sprat on their first turn.† Seeing his teammate dragged off the field enraged Thariper who blitzed Ewart seriously injuring him and putting him out for the next match.† Then the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax pushed another Warrior Piper off the sideline with a few assists and the rest of the half devolved into shoving and shouting with very little movement upfield until in desperation Enaboks blitzed his way free to stand in the EZ and Oltrayds was blocked free and ran down to pass for the TD which Enaboks failed to catch.

The fans were disappointed in the first half and threw a Rock, KOíing Georgio at the kick and giving You Donít Know the numbers advantage for the first time.† It didnít stop Model Humans making a hole with the Ogre Horrible Harry blitzing the rotter Grimthor to the ground and letting the Catcher E.N. Trapment run through with Menion providing some defence and the lineman Grimthor marking up the Beast of Nurgle.† Grimthor regretted his bravery when Thariper Blitzed and gained his second (and skill making) casualty Badly Hurting Grimthor and marking up the feeble Catcher while Nimble knocked Horrible Harry to the ground and the other two Warriors spread their Disturbing Presence aura around to distract other receivers.† The skilled Thrower Harvey Chucks was not bothered, running forward to remain just out of the effect of three different Disturbing Presence zones and passed to the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax who failed the 5+ catch with a reroll.† Thariper hit the weak E.N. Trapment but only managed to push him towards the sideline and Oltrayds made his first fumbling attempt to get the ball in hopes of the team actually managing a TD. Horrible Harry got to his feet and blitzed Black but hit the turf himself, freeing Black to move down and remind Thariper what he was there for, letting him push E.N. Trapment off the sideline.† Back in the middle of the field, Oltrayds grabbed the ball but fumbled the pass to Enaboks who had been waiting out in the open. Horrible Harry stood up again and this time blitzed Thariper for a both down with the Beast of Nurgle KOíd.† Oltrayds picked up the ball again and tried to pass to Enaboks who was in walking distance of the line but fumbled the throw again.† With most of his team mates prone in a mob in centre field surrounded by Nurgle players, Jarad Jax tried to run around the LOS and get to the ball but failed his dodge (despite the dodge skill) and was stunned.† Oltrayds picked up the ball and walked over to Enaboks who was unable to take the handoff and for the 4th time the ball hit the ground again.† With no one now able to get to the ball or the two Pestigors Horrible Harry once again blitzed and this time he was successful with a casualty on the only skilled Rotter on the field Black who suffered a Broken Neck and a Badly Hurt, giving the Ogre his first skill.† Oltrayds was no close enough to the EZ to score himself so he ignored Enaboks, walked over to the ball and failed the 2+ pickup.

Final Result TD 0-0 Cas 2-1

The last turn of the first half and the last FOUR turns of the second half were turnovers with a roll of 1 on ball handling, all of which could have resulted in a TD that turn.† The only SPP earned outside MVPs was by the two Big Guys who both earned skills from casualties.
- Carbrawn
Aug. 5th, 2017
Against the odds
Mummies Boys arrived with a wizard in a cage to help them with the game.
At the start of the match Hoar us thought the ref was looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves, refusing to help his team mates. It didnít stop him hurting his opponents himself though and his glovers were spattered at the end with him putting two Rotters in the casualty bin.

Mummies Boys won the toss and elected to kick, lining the front of the field with muscle to try and stop the Nurgle team getting past. It helped delay things as despite Oltrayds catching the kick, You Donít Know suffered a turnover without moving the ball when Thariper hit Tooting Car Man and they both fell to the ground, Thariper undamaged but Tooting Car Man suffering a Niggling Injury which he luckily regenerated. The next turn Really Poorly got through the Thick Skull of Rah Spew Tin to give his team a 2 player advantage and the ball was moved up to near the LOS. Then the Mummies Boys decided to make things difficult. The Wizard was brought out, Oltrayds hit the turf along with his one of his protectors Nimble and the ball was next to Thariper and Really Poorly. Realising that Blackmail wasnít likely to work on someone with the memory of a goldfish, someone slipped tinted lenses over the eyes of Thariper who got confused over who was on his team, and dodged away from Really Poorly to foul Oltrayds. With Really Poorly alone next to the ball he was blitzed to the ground and Ritzblah ran in to try and get possession. The ball bounced around from player to player over the next few minutes with numerous failures to catch it until it finally landed back in the Nurgle half. Thariper hit Bob Loblaw out of the way, Seriously Injuring him and he failed to recover, Oltrayds got to his feet and grabbed the ball with a GFI to move back into the protection of a cage and provide an assist for O'Neill to hit Thofoth Fothof next to the sideline. Seeing the luck Thariper had, Tooting Car Man thumped Really Poorly into the casualty bin as well, (his Decay ending in two BH results) and then he moved to assist Hoar us knocking Thariper to the ground where he stayed for a while, unable to collect his thoughts enough to stand up. O'Neill blitzed Thofoth Fothof off the sideline where the crowd broke his hip, permanently reducing his movement as he failed to regenerate. On the opposite widezone Nimble had been taking on multiple opponents without much success which ended up with him at risk of going off the sideline until the blitz by Ritzblah was halted when he looked his target and couldnít bring himself to touch the oozing exterior. With time running out, Nickelson ran across the field to get near the EZ and some targeted blocks opened a path for Oltrayds to run through and try a pass from right next to the rotter. He was lucky he was that close as the attempted catch went straight off Nickelsonís face and back into Oltrayds hands. Trying to free up some defenders Nurgle players were smashed to the ground with Hoar us crushing O'Neill with his massive bandaged fists, Badly Hurting him AND fracturing his skull. With no rerolls left Oltrayds didnít trust his team mate to take possession and ran towards the EZ himself for the T8 TD.
You Donít Know set up deep to prevent taking too much damage and missed the chance to do anything with the Blitz kickoff result. After the LOS rotters all hit the ground, the newcomer to the team, the Thro-Ra Fah Chukhah, strolled over to the ball, easily picked it up and lobbed it to the nearby Blitz-Ra Nerhfren Needgul who caught it for the first completion of the season for the Khemri.

The second half started the way it was expected to with a cage of ST5 moving forwards and the Thro-Ra with the ball in the middle. Then Fah Chukhah stepped on a Mine, he kept his feet along with his rear defenders but the Tomb Guardians Tooting Car Man and A Noob us went down, removing the front of the cage. Piper smacked Ritzblah to the ground and out of the way, leaving Horner to blitz Fah Chukhah backwards between his rear defenders with the ball bouncing behind Hoar us. Nickelson pushed Atah The Zealous from his spot next to Oltrayds who dodged around the back of the mob, GFIíd onto the ball, grabbed it from the feet of Hoar us, GFIíd and Dodged away for a pass to Black who had moved back to wait in scoring range. Once again a Rotter was unable to catch an accurate pass and the ball was on the ground. Steve Blitzed Oltrayds and stunned him, Hoar us marked up the ball and Fah Chukhah ran in to grab it but the TZ of Black prevented success. Fah Chukhah was then flat on his back after a solid thump from Black but no one else was close enough to try for the ball. Looking at the clock, Fah Chukhah realised he would have to push himself to the limit to get the equalising TD. Trusting in his team mates to keep the Nurgle horde at bay, after Black was pushed away, he got to his feet picked up the ball and darted into the open with two GFIís to get close to the LOS. The Nurgle coach had no faith in his players dodging ability so he tried to free up Thariper by blocking one of his markers so the Beast of Nurgle could blitz the other and put tentacles on the ball carrier. The first block failed with a Both Down against Nerhfren Needgul and Fah Chukhah was off again. Two more GFIs put him in line for a T8 walk in TD and out of range of any blitz leaving Sparrow to stand up and make two GFIís just to mark the Thro-Ra and Nimble failed his dodge to try for two GFIís for the second marker. Rerolls in hand, Fah Chukhah just needed to dodge away to draw the game, he failed and the ball bounced back to the feet of Sparrow. The Great Unclean One smiled down at his representatives. With no chance of recovery for any failure Sprat got to his feet and pushed Nerhfren Needgul away from Oltrayds, Sparrow picked up the ball, ran around the nearby skeleton and made a short pass to Oltrayds. The inaccurate throw spiralled wildly in the air and landed right in the hands of the Pestigor who walked carefully downfield to put the ball delicately in the arms of Black who confidently strode into the EZ to end the game.
The Khemri coach finally pulled out his Magic Sponge and wiped away the broken hip of Thofoth Fothof.

Final Result TD 2-0 Cas 3-3
Three pass attempts by the Nurgle team, two failed catches for accurate passes and a successful catch for the inaccurate pass for 0 completions.
The Thro-Ra chance of success for the final TD was 75% with the reroll, the odds of the Nurgle team T16 TD attempt being successful was 18.5% based on the pass being accurate. The actual sequence of events including the inaccurate pass landing back on the target was 0.98%.
- Carbrawn
Aug. 3rd, 2017
Mummy Mia
You don't know are going into their next game with trepidation. While they have had a good season so far, for the first time they are facing a team that outmuscles them, has more Mighty Blow as well as a higher average movement.
- Carbrawn
July 11th, 2017
Giant slayers not Dragon slayers
The Drakwald Dragons had droves of fans turn up to the game, just shy of double the number supporting You Donít Know.

The Human Catcher Gyro Mosspedlar had decided as he had the most SPP on the team he should be treated with more respect and was on a serious Ego Trip which resulted in him taking almost no part in the game at all.
You Donít Know received the kick and quickly moved up to near the LOS with the ball in the hands of Oltrayds but the Nurgle team was having no luck getting rid of opponent players with pushes all over the field. This played right into the hands of the Humans as a Dirty Block from Baxter Sewerscraper sent the Beast of Nurgle Thariper to the ground stunned where her remained for some time after being too Really Stupid to get up. Realising they couldnít depend on Thariper, the rest of the players moved around him and a cage was formed with Warriors and Rotters but was unable to progress without the extra strength to push through and pin players with tentacles. Unable to break through, one of the human lineman tried yelling out ĎLook, a distractioní but the Nurgle team laughed at his attempt to be a Disturbing Presence in the game and all EIGHT of the players nearby continued with their actions unperturbed. Finally on T6, Thariper pulled himself together than thumped the unskilled lineman Roland Gunkhunter into the casualty bin Badly Hurt, the first player to leave the field. The constant harassment and delays had an impact and Oltrayds had to make a break with minimal coverage to get in range of a TD, on turn 8 with no rerolls, his team mate Harkness blitzed the last marker out of the way and the Pestigor walked over the line for the TD.

A High Kick allowed the AG4 Thrower Nick Nailer to get under the ball on the LOS in the widezone with only the nearby disturbing presence stopping him from making the catch. With most of the team on the LOS the Humans were desperate and threw blocks and made dodges to free players up to protect the ball. You Donít Know made some gaps and Rotter ran around both sides to pressure Nick Nailer, forcing the blitz to be used on saving the ball carrier for several consecutive turns, preventing downfield movement. Mobs started to form on the LOS, in the widezone and downfield as the Nurgle players marked up possible receivers and spread Disturbing Presence around the field, hampered by a sequence of two Serious Injuries removing Sprat and Horner from the field until they slowly regenerated. Some lucky blocks and dodges opened the way for the faster Humans and it looked like a TD was imminent until Oltrayds dodged from his marker, dodged past another defender and made two GFIís to put the Thrower on the ground and the ball on the sideline. Once again the Humans exploded into action with positioning critical to a sequence of actions allowing the AG4 to once again gain possession and move into scoring distance. Thariper saw a chance to shine and the lumbering Beast of Nurgle blitzed a lineman out of the way and made two GFIís himself to put Tentacles on the ball carrier. With every other player marked or out of range it came down to the Nick Nailer himself, using the last team reroll he escape the tentacles and made the dodge to cross the line for the equaliser on T15.
You Donít Know had two turns to score, no rerolls and low movement but a complete disregard for player safety still made the winning touchdown possible. A horrendous kick to the opposite widezone added unnecessary complexity but a blitz by Thariper pushed the gap open and formed the back corner of the cage, several GFIs from Rotters got the front of the cage into play and it was time to pick up the ball. A handoff and a quick pass would put a Rotter into the middle of the cage and in range to score but instead the rotter Al-ready Gone ended up staring blankly at the ball (and his fingers), lying on the ground next to him because Oltryds was too far away to reach it. Nathan Frostbite marked Al-ready and Drew Diredrench blitzed him to the ground and pickup the ball and the Dragons finished their last action with possession and You Donít Know in serious doubt to get the win. They were not aware that Al-ready had Knuckle Dusters in his pocket, he blitzed the ball carrier to the ground while Harkness ran from the front of the cage across the other side of the field and made two GFIs into the EZ. Oltrayds tried to channel an Elf he ate before the game, he needed to dodge, pick up the ball in a TZ, dodge again, and GFI to make a Long Pass for the 50/50 accurate pass. Success, success, success, the crowd was gasping and the Dragons coach was shaking his head in resignation, 2+, 4+, 3+ left to goÖ.Oltrayds tripped to the sound of groans from spectators and the game was over.

Final Result TD 1-1 Cas 1-2
The first casualties suffered by the team and the least caused. The Humans broke Tentacles on multiple occasions including the TD where a failure would have left the Thrower open to a Beast of Nurgle block which could have put him on the sideline and the ball off the field.
- Carbrawn
June 23rd, 2017
Hard fought and won
You Donít Know came into the match with very low expectations. Despite the unexpected win against the Dark Elves in round 1, they expected the sheer speed and agility of the Elves to dominate the game.
Johnny Waterboy was waiting in the dugout for the Tree Hugging Hippies, giving them a helpful boost to KO recovery but it seemed they had been drinking something else before the match and their Bad Habits removed their rerolls for the first half.

After gaining FAME and winning the toss, the Nurgle team set up for a safe receive to cage up early due to the mobility of their opponents. The LOS hits were all pushes against Journeymen and the blitz gave them a stun result while the cage formed with Oltrayds holding the ball inside, then he stepped on a Mine (the Chaos Lords smiled and Oltrayds remained standing, as did his rotter team mate in front of him with only the rear defence prone). Disappointed with the lack of success with their prepared explosives, the Wood Elves ran down to surround the ball carrier with Petal blitzing him for a push result. The push put Oltrayds in a better spot to dodge away and run across field to form the back corner of a cage where he handed off to the Rotter O'Neill, the first time anyone on the team other than the Pestigor had touched the ball. Unfortunately, the Beast of Nurgle Thariper started dribbling at that point instead of hitting the journeyman in front of him, opening one corner of the cage and leaving it open for Petal to run in and blitz OíNeill to the ground with the ball scattering out. Elm moved over and picked up the ball from the feet of Oltrayds, dodged away again to pass to Thorns who was out of hitting range but fumbled the throw. Oltrayds waited until Petal was pushed away from him and then blitzed Elm to the ground, stunning him and continued on to mark the ball and Thorns while Harkness sprinted down to put another TZ on the ball, stumbling over his own feet and stunning himself. Lineelves ran from everywhere to give assists, allowing Thorns to blitz Oltrayds out of the way, pick up the ball and score, thus proving that even with no rerolls and suffering a KO each turn for the first 4 turns, the Wood Elves are more than a match for slow unskilled teams.
Johnny Waterboy allowed the Wood Elves to get back to 10 instead of 8 for the next drive. This time the kick was better positioned for the Nurgle team and they started a stronger cage near the LOS and moved downfield slowly over the next 3 turns. Eventually, they were just within scoring distance but with no less than six Elves in good position to stop them, one of those six tried a single dice block, relying on his Block skill but fell to the ground stunned. With some movement, You Donít Know had the setup to chainpush two Elves off the field and block the last one out of the way to open the widezone for a walk-in TD, the first block was a double skull, taking the final reroll and with the final unskilled elf staying standing after 4 block dice, the Nurgle team was in trouble. The Rotter Sparrow had to dodge out of the way letting the ball carrying Rotter OíNeill dodge through as well to get over the line and equalise on T8.

Kicking in the second half, You Donít Know set up to spread their Warriors and Disturbing Presence across a wide field. The Tree Hugging Hippies gathered the ball and moved both Wardancers downfield with several linemen to mark up defenders and keep them out of the way. Two Warriors were freed up by Rotter blocks and a third Blitzed his own way free to mark up the two Wardancers and the remaining standing Lineelf. From backfield, Roots didnít see the haze in the air and ran around the LOS to pass to Thorns thinking a single TZ and a reroll would see them through and he would only need two dodges to score. With a TZ and THREE Disturbing Presence auraís, the catch was failed. Thorns was pushed out of the way, the ball was gathered and caged at the LOS to start the move with Thariper crushing Fern to the ground, Smashing his Hip for a permanent movement reduction. The Hippies didnít give up, Petal dodges out of the pack downfield and leaped into the cage, putting Nickelson down but a bad bounce left the ball unattainable. With the Wardancer in the middle of the cage, one of the Rotters whispered in his ear that he had evidence that Petal was involved in fracking on protected native Sylvan glades. Petal turned his back on his teammate, allowing the lineman next to him to be KOíd and then himself ran across the field, blitzing and stunning Roots (the only skilled lineelf on the field) before scampering downfield away from the ball and standing next to the sideline where he was immediately pinned by the Warrior Sprat. The ball was once again caged, even closer to the EZ and after Piper blocked Thorns to the ground, Black fouled him for a stun. Petal tried to escape the widezone but failed the dodge and watched in horror as only feet away, Black fouled Thorns again, this time for a KO. The cage moved on. Petal got to his feet and ran downfield to blitz Thariper with 3 assists, trying to take him out of play so they could swarm the slow mob moving towards the EZ. Thariper went down but immediately got back to his feet and moved back in to hold the elves in tentacles while Warriors strolled up to provide assistance and prevent him being blocked again. The cage moved on. A last attempt was made, Petal escaped from the tentacles, dodged away and once again leaped into the cage for a 1D block but for the first time he failed and fell over allowing Oltrayds to walk over for the turn 16 winning TD.

Final Result TD 2-1 Cas 2-0
The Wardancers couldnít be stopped, 4 leaps into the cages to put down the ball carrier all successful without rerolls and only one failed block result (at the worst time). Key playmakers and they didnít fail any actions or hit the ground until late in the second half (at which point fouling started until one left the field. If it wasnít for the blackmail effectively keeping Petal from the ball carrier for 3 turns it was only a matter of time before a good bounce game them a runaway TD.
- Carbrawn
May 12th, 2017
Dark Elves welcome Nurgle
into their Hearts and Minds and Nervous System.

The Black Guards had obviously not been preparing for the season, one of their Blitzers was constantly looking over his shoulder waiting for the call from his Blackmailer and the team themselves were so unpractised they couldnít even get together the ability to use Re-rolls until the second Half (Bad Habits). Meanwhile, Thariper, knowing the bad reputation of previous Beasts of Nurgle was wearing Kid Gloves and refused to assist in Blocks or Fouls in case he got in trouble (it didnít stop him from crushing players personally).

The game started badly for the Dark Elves when Nimble Badly Hurt Michael on the LOS in the first turn and the Dark Elves werenít even able to attempt revenge with two consecutive Blitzers unable to even touch Sprat due to his Foul Appearance. Oltrayds hid behind some team mates and slowly moved downfield while the Dark Elves continued to be pummeled. The lineelf Al was killed by Thariper and Paulie was pushed off the sideline and KOíd and it wasnít until the second last turn of the half that Thariper failed a Really Stupid roll but by that point it was too late and Oltrayds walked over the line for a T8 TD.
The Black Guards lined up for some LOS thumping for T8 but even this fun was partially denied with the crowd deciding to Throw A Rock and stun the Rotter Nickelson giving them only two blocks before gaining their first SPP of the game with a completion to the Runner Don Vito.

A passing Bad Year Git ensured a touchback with the ball scattering ELEVEN squares from the kick which was lucky considering the crowd threw another Rock and stunned the Don Vito who was the only player in the backfield. A perfect Blitz stunning Oltrayds and innumerable dodges and GFIís to mark up every other Nurgle player in range gave the Black Guards as fairly simple Quick Pass (just out of range of disturbing presence) for the turn 2 equalising TD.
You don't know sacrificed some Rotters to mark up Dark Elves and take the hits while Oltrayds once again moved downfield. In an effort to contain two players at once with his tentacles, Thariper Blitzed the linelf Paulie killing him as he killed his teammate in the first half and adding another Rotter to the roster. The Guards decided discretion was the better part of valour and moved all their remaining players down the other end of the field to thump the Rotters they could reach and stay out of range of the appallingly slow movement of the Nurgle Warriors. They spent the last few turns doing this while Oltrayds finished moving in for the game winning T16 TD.

Final Result
TD 2-1 Cas 3-0 (2 Deaths)
At least the deaths were all lineelves
- Carbrawn
You don't know
Race:  Nurgle
Coach:  Carbrawn

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