You don't know

Race:  Nurgle
Coach:  Carbrawn

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Bulletin board from the coach
Jan. 7th, 2019 - old news
Guard your Guards
YDK took a chance and spent some of their treasury on a Chaos Shaman to bless their players for the match. The Shaman quickly hid in a pile of discarded limbs in the change room and had a nap where he remained unnoticed by the coach each drive until players had already taken the field pending kick-off. The coach of the Shady Grays insisted that while the ball was not yet in play, union rules prevented the calling of unholy gods on the pitch in the presence of the non-denominational teams so the Shaman took his full fee having contributed nothing. In post match interviews he insisted his fate changing presence was the reason for the unlucky result of the Shady Grays Master Mage casting.
Jacob Smith was wearing his commemorative Spranleyís Cup, Oltrayds was once again an Iron Man and the Shady Grays Bad Habits lost them a reroll for the first half.

Winning the toss, TDK received the ball but were caught off guard by the Blitz which allowed Shady Grays to move Guards in around the Beast of Nurgle Thariper and Blitz a hole in the wide zone to run through towards the ball. They werenít quick enough to get there though, so the AG4 Pestigor Oltrayds grabbed the ball and handed off to Nurgle Warrior Piper while forming the back corner of a three point cage. Shady Grays immediately pulled in the Master Mage for their first official turn on the clock and let the fireball fly, unluckily it flew as far off course as possible and in the worst direction available, landing on 3 Shady Grays players and only 2 TDKs. When the smoke cleared, Thariper was KOíd and Black was stunned while the ST4 Lineman Jacob Smith was Badly Hurt and the Blitzer James Darnum was also stunned. Not willing to go the rest of the game without their only ST player, the Apothecary put Jacob back in the reserves. Despite Thariper being gone, TDK made short work of the drive and scored on T4 with a pivot on the cage and Piper passing back to Oltrayds for the TD.
Turning the tables, TDK got Blitz on the next drive, running a Pestigor around each wing, putting Thariper on the LOS and blitzing down a defender in the widezone to get two Disturbing Presence zones on the sole Human Catcher Daniel Fryse. The Disturbing Presence was redundant as the complete ineptitude of Daniel ensured a fumble and the ball was on the ground, the only saving grace was the three Grays TZs. Two blocks and a blitz and there were no TZ on the ball, Oltrayds ran in to grab it and get back over the LOS into protected territory. The Grays were furious and their numerous Guard players piled in to give them the numbers to get Thariper on the ground and Steve LaCroix was marking up Oltrayds. Sunpolak blitzed him away, Oltrayds ran over to make a quick pass to Piper who GFIíd to hand off to Enaboks who moved into TD range. Desperation and luck freed up enough players so the Grays could get Andrew Vevusus down for the next turn recovery, a lineman for the extra assist and James Darnum GFIíd to hit Enaboks but with no rerolls, a push result was all they could manage. Lantan was close enough to blitz James away and Enaboks walked over the line to take the score to 2-0.
TDK send up with midfield defence to try and prevent the TD rush, it wasnít coming and instead the CheerleaderBB, sick of the performance of the Human team, abused the coach and ran onto the field to assist the Guard Lineman Xavier Anderson to blitz Piper who had been the assist in both TDs, the block had no result. Xavier was struck dead by the return blow and CheerleaderBB also hit the turf with a TDK blitz. With no one in scoring range, the Grays made a backfield completion to keep the stats up and Cheerleader was carried off the field, she was later spotted creeping out of the stadium in embarrassment. Xavier was already starting to putrify and was added to the roster as Xavier Andacorpse.

Down 2-0 and down to 10 players Shady Grays went for broke, the Widezone was broken, defenders were down and Daniel was in walking distance of the EZ after 2GFIs. From across the field, Enaboks blitzed, with 2 GFIís he stripped the ball from Daniels hands and it bounced to the feet of the Warrior Nimble. Then came the tactical error by TDK, instead of trying the dodge and pickup in a TZ with Oltrayds, Thariper lumbered downfield to go a GFI to mark up the hapless Catcher relying on Break Tackle to get him clear, his massive strength wasnít enough and with a thundering crash he ended in a squirming pile of tentacles. Two Blitzers stood up to Nimble and allowed Sammy Ell to blitz him away from the ball, grab it himself and with 2GFIís cross for the face saving TD.

At this point there was an evacuation of the stadium facilities and the coaches came to a mutual agreement that the game would be called at the current state of play.

Final Result You Donít Know def Shady Grays TD 2-1 Cas 2-1 Kills 1-0
- Carbrawn
July 24th, 2018 - old news
More George than Jack
The last time these teams faced off the Drakwald Dragons took the win in overtime to make it through to the Grand Final. Since then the Dragons have developed massively with 15 players, movement and agility increases and sitting with more than triple the TDs of You Donít Know for the season with the Nurgle team winless so far. This is probably why the crowd was one sided with the Humans gaining +2 FAME.

The Dragons were showing off to their fans how good they were and unfortunately this lead to some Bad Habits, dropping them to only three rerolls (2 team and a Leader) but knowing the Nurgleís surprising propensity for end of half passing TDs, Nick Nailer had procured Heldenhofís Headband to gain Pass Block and a bonus to Intercept.

The game started well for the Dragons with YDK unable to do any damage from the LOS hits and a Blitz, the response had the Nurgle Warrior Horner Badly Hurt and failing regeneration and the Mine buried in the turf broke open the cage and allowed an early sack to put the ball into their hands. While a Blitz put Matt Mason down, YDK was unable to get to the ball to recover possession but an attempt to free up the Warrior Nimble resulted in the untimely death of the Human lineman Eric Entbane from the unlikely hit by Wrestle Rotter O'Neill and while everyone was gaping in shock, the Pestigor Enaboks killed the Blitzer Tor Tardrinker. The team apothecary ignored the hapless lineman and rushed Tor into the reserves with a quick fix. The Dragons gathered the ball again but the Warrior Sprat didnít want to be outdone by the lesser players and killed the Blitzer Drew Diredrench to make 3 deaths in 2 turns as well as opening the cage to put the ball on the ground again. By this point there were six Human and seven Nurgle players in a mob crossing into the widezone with the ball gathered by a Human and lost again each turn until finally Oltrayds managed to actually pick it up and break free to make a quick pass downfield to Sunpolak who was in the clear. With that many players in the widezone, it was only a matter of time before the surfing began and with an Ogre in the pack the Dragons were set up to go for a 3D and 2D to remove one player and set up the second for the next turn and freeing up players to chase down the ball carrier. Unfortunately it was at this point that Gort Hooktooth started to lose focus with a terribly timed Bonehead, leaving Nick Nailer on the sideline alone. Nick was surfed, the ball moved closer to the EZ, now with protection and the TD came on T8.
Drakwald Dragons set up for the 1T TD, despite Foul Appearance they got the successful pushes to get Igor Straitwall into place to wait for the pass but Matt Mason failed the pickup.

Despite three fatalities, the Dragons set up with 11 players. A short kick gave them the ball which they run across the LOS after an Ogre Blitz opened the way and they were in scoring range with a mob of players giving good protection. Good was not enough, throwing caution to the wind, the Nurgle team made dodges and GFIís to mark up anyone they could to enable Enaboks to do two GFIís to blitz Tor Tardrinker down and once again a mob formed in the same widezone, this time with only Nimble and Roland Gunkhunter separate and on the LOS where Sprat intended to push Roland all the way to the sideline. Tensions rose as Nick Nailer grabbed the ball and broke down the widezone to only a few paces from the EZ while Gort Boneheaded. Block and chain pushes freed up Enaboks to blitz him down and allowed Lantan to get possession and run into the open, hoping for the Beast of Nurgle tentacles to restrain anyone who could hit him. It was nearly successful, all the remaining Blitzers and Linemen were unable to reach so it became a Thrower team up with Nick standing up and dodging to provide the assist and Matt Blitzed Lantan down so Gyro Mosspedlar could dodge free and attempt a GFI TD but failed to pick up the ball while Gort Boneheaded. Lantan, Oltrayds and Enaboks moved in thumping, putting Matt Nick down and getting two TZs on the ball as well as marking up both Throwers and Gyro. Once more Gort Boneheaded, leaving it up to the Blitzers to try and free themselves from Tentacles so they could blitz defenders away and try for the pick-up and score. Tor Tardrinker tried a 1D hit against the Beast of Nurgle Thariper but critically failed, the reroll gave the same result and he hit the turf. With the balance of the mob changed, Really Poorly wanted to push Linus Rocklobber out of the way to free up Sprat to moved around to assist Thariper, however it turned into another casualty with Linus Badly Hurt. Realizing he was the only one in TD range, Nimble called for the ball, Blitzing Roland off KOíd and shambling over the LOS. The Rotter Black saw the risks of having a Thrower with Dodge standing in range to gather a fumble and pass for a TD and hit the hapless Matt hard, hard enough to kill him in fact. The second fatality caused by a Rotter in the game was so unexpected that the subsequent short pass by Enaboks to the AG2 Nimble Warrior was almost ignored. No one was capable of reaching him and Gort Boneheaded again so couldnít free up anyone to even start a chase so Nimble moved towards the EZ. With any hope of a save gone, Gort finally woke up, blitzed Piper to the ground and then watched despondently as Nimble GFIíd into the EZ.

Final Result TD 2-0 Cas 5-1 Fatalities 4-0
Outnumbered, Outpaced, out-skilled and out-supported, this game was expected to go the other way but 3 fatalities in the first 4 turns gave the first half to the Nurgle team and the second half was lost with Gort only taking actions twice and multiple attempts to pick-up and run in a TD with 2+ and 3+ failures with rerolls.
- Carbrawn
June 24th, 2018 - old news
Wood not hurt
The skies opened at the start of the match and rain poured down. While this didnít bother the Wood Elves who include in their roster a Thrower with AG6, it had a devastating effect on the Nurgle team whoís putrescence turned their punches into the equivalent of weakly thrown sponges.

While You Donít Know were still setting themselves up to receive the ball and get an early 2D hit on the Treeman Towering Gum, the Tree Hugging Hippies got a Blitz, ran 7 Elves around the LOS and put Petal under the ball which he caught despite the rain and TZs and Disturbing Presence. The hit on Towering Gum was dropped to 1D but was successful anyway and some tactical blocking and a lucky POW put the Wardancer down, leaving Oltrayds free to pick up the ball and GFI into a cage where he tripped, injured himself and failed to regenerate, taking away Nurgles only reliable player for ball pickup in the rain. Towering Gum easily got to his feet and with some assistance the ST4 Wardancer Thorns would be able to Blitz a gap in the cage to free up the ball, so Petal stood up and ran around to remove a marker, failing his first GFI attempt but recovering with Sure Feet only to fail the second GFI with a reroll. You Donít Know recovered the ball with Lantan and moved a stronger cage to the LOS but Thorns opened it up and marked the ball carrier anyway with a KO on O'Neill. Another POW on a Wardancer and the cage reformed further downfield but numbers were starting to affect the play with the slow moving team unable to manouver through the mobile Elves and Lantan had to try and GFI for the TD but hit the turf. Luckily the pickup by Buds failed and there was another chance for YDK. Unfortunately with more Elves than Nurgle near the EZ and terrible movement the only hope was a pass to Lantan after he stood up in the EZ, O'Neill grabbed the ball and Thorns intercepted, in the rain, and a TZ, and Disturbing Presence. 4 turns left in the half and they passed quickly but confusingly with the AG6 Thrower Branch on an Ego Trip, moving ahead of the ball carrier and waiting for the ball while the shambling YDK players moved down and across field in a desperate attempt to get into defensive positions. Finally on T7, Thorns moved past Branch and handed off in range of the TD on T8 with a web of Wood Elves preventing any Nurgle players from getting near him. They didnít have to as Thorns had waited until he didnít have the ball before betraying his team, using Frenzy to surf Branch in the hope that the crowd would throw the ball in the direction of the TDK players or off the EZ and further away in a second attempt. The crowd did not oblige, carefully carrying Branch to the dugout and chucking the ball a short distance across the field into the open. The Nurgle coach could only watch dejectedly as Petal made an easy 2+ dodge and started to gesture rudely as he moonwalked towards an easy TD, but brightened immediately when the show-off fumbled the pickup to end the half 0-0.

The Wood Elves received in the second half with a High Kick giving them the ball near the LOS and an ST4 blitz gave them an opening to put Flower in scoring distance behind a wall of defenders. A Blitz opened a small window of opportunity for the Beast of Nurgle Thariper to dodge free with Break Tackle and get his tentacles on the ball carrier. It didnít help with the speedy elves moving to provide assists, Thorns blitzed Thariper down and Flower handed off to Elm for the TD.
Down 1-0 on both TD and Cas, You Donít Know went back to their first turn plan and lined up against the Treeman with Claw. This time it worked with Horner smashing Towering Gum to the ground, shredding his bark for a Serious Injury while his team mates gathered the ball in backfield. The Apothecary fixed the Treeman up fast and moved him back to reserves and the Wood Elves started putting pressure on, resulting in another desperation pass, this time between the Rotters O'Neill to Really Poorly to try and get over the LOS and into a new cage but once again an Interception with a -3 adjustment gave the Wood Elves the ball and this time a quick TD to go up 2-0.
Now the Tree Hugging Hippies had two TDs, two completions, two interceptions and You Donít Know had a Cas and now 3 players off the field with 2 unrecovered KOís and the early MNG giving the Wood Elves a numbers advantage. Two consecutive turns of multiple POW blocks putting Blodgers on the ground didnít help, even when Petal was KOíd they just didnít have the agility or movement to get the ball to the other end of the field for a TD and the final turn was spent mindlessly pushing elves into the mud.

Final Result TD 0-2 Cas 1-1
The number of POW blocks from You Donít Know was incredible and on several turns the 1 in 6 chance came up better than 1 in 2. The Wood Elves only made a low number of blocks, preferring to dodge away and reposition, marking new players from different angles. With nearly constant base to base contact the Nurgle team was thumping constantly but AV breaks were in single figures over the 16 turns and were equalled or beaten by the number from the Wood Elves despite the armour difference. Sometimes probability goes out the window.
- Carbrawn
June 1st, 2018 - old news
Darkness falls on Nurgle
Heinous Harm had fractionally more fans at the game, most likely to watch the Star Player Eldril Sidewinder in action.
You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive, they thought it had paid off when the Thariper immediately Badly Hurt the lineelf Hyph Hackuup on the LOS but the failed pickup of the kick by Oltrayds and the subsequent bounce caused havoc.
Eldril sprung into action and ran over to try and Hypnotise Sprat but had forgotten to take out his contact lenses (a fact he didnít realise for a few more turns). With the TZ still in place the Dark Elves took the chance anyway, blitzed away a ball marker and Harlotte ran over, picked up the ball and dodged out and into the clear with a maze of companions around her. The Nurgle players moved in a complicated pattern to close Dark Elf escape paths and open a way for Thariper to Blitz Hacker Hemi out of the way and move into put tentacles on the ball carrier, a both down prevent the marking but Hacker was Badly Hurt. Sprat knocked Eldril to the ground but failed to do any damage. Eldril got to his feet and tried his steely gaze once more but obviously failed and a Block & Blitz combo to let Harlotte escape failed to open any gaps at all, leaving the Witch Elf in trouble from Thariper. Unfortunately Thariper was dreaming of what he would do to Harlotte and failed to take any action at all, letting his tentacle slump limply at his side. Sprat thumped Eldril to the ground again to now effect and Oltrayds blitzed the front of the web surrounding the ball carrier, putting Heidi Stroyah down but failed to do anything. Eldril got to his feet and glanced wearily at Sprat who ignored him entirely but glared at the nearby lineelf who whispered what the problem was an rolled his own eyes as Eldril sheepily took out his contacts. With a solid blitz, the Guard Blitzer Horace Hatchman moved into position to grant multiple assists for team mates to crack open the wall and Harlotte moved downfield to scoring position in a cage of Dark Elves. Once more the Nurgle players moved and pushed their opponents around and once more Thariper Blitzed downfield, getting a 3rd lineelf off the field (Henry HiFiver in 3 hits but this time only a KO. With Henry out the way a GFI finally put tentacles on Harlotte. It was unfortunate for the Beast that Eldril had fixed his previous mistake, dodged out and ran down to Hypnotise the Big Guy, letting Harlotte walk over and hand off to Hugh Hurtya in the EZ, just out of Disturbing Presence range.
The Dark Elves put a High Kick ball on the back line and Otrayds failed another action with the ball. With a slow team and a length of the field TD required, You Donít know pulled out all the stops, Oltrayds managed to cage up and GFIís, dodges and blocks and blitzes were everywhere as they attempted to get receivers into place over the next two turns while the Dark Elves marked up and slowed the cage to a crawl. Oltrayds had marked up a blitzer to allow his teammate to blitz a gap and run through but he discovered that being only 2 paces from the sideline wasnít enough when Harlotte Frenzied him into position for the Blitzer to push him into the crowd where he was stunned. Eventually Thariper was Hypnotised again, the cage fell apart and on turn 7 Harlotte was able to blitz Oltrayds to the ground, stunning him and removing the AG4 from the now mandatory passing play with all receivers close enough to score sandwiched between two Elves except Really Poorly who just had the Block lineelf Habernath Haveanap in front of him. Sprat ran downfield and 2GFIís allowed him to blitz away Habernath, letting Really Poorly do 2 GFIís to get into the EZ. Piper pushed Harlotte away and Enaboks ran back downfield, picked up the ball, moved back over the LOS and with 2 GFIís got into Short Pass range for the successful completion and TD to equalise.
On turn 8 the Dark Elves made a completion in the backend and threw the 3 LOS blocks to no effect.

Having not seen any injuries since turn 2, the crowd Threw a Rock onto the pitch, KOíing Enaboks, the Strip Ball Pestigor and despite Eldril failing to hypnotise the Warrior Sprat, an easy blitz saw the gap open and most of the Dark Elves downfield with a protected ball carrier leading to a fast TD with Thariper refusing to participate in the defense.
There was plenty of time for the equaliser except that Eldril came into his own, removing tentacles and TZs with ease and Harlotte used her Leap to jump into a cage and put down Oltrayds. An early failed action left the game open for a 3-1 lead to Heinous Harm, Harlotte got free and stood in the EZ, Horace moved in to grab the loose ball but the GFI to get into Short Pass range failed with a reroll and he hit the turf. Two rotters took the opportunity with a GFI each to Blitz Harlotte off the EZ and into the gentle hands of the crowd. Oltrayds stood up and grabbed the ball, trying a quick pass to Harkness to have the ball caged up but the catch was fumbled. Turns passed with little progress until Nimble Badly Hurt another unskilled lineman, Thariper finally got Eldril off the field with a KO and it was 11 v 8 but too late. With 2 rotters still moving back up field from surfing the Witch Elf, Enaboks still KOíd and Oltrayds carrying the ball, possible scorers were thin on the ground. It came down to desperation again, this time a markup to get a blitz to free Sunpolak who still had to dodge and GFI into the EZ, Oltrayds ran out of his cage and GFIíd to get into range for a Long Pass, it was accurate, now just an AG3 catch for the drawÖ.once more Nurgle frowned on his representatives trying to catch a ball and it was fumbled.

Final Result TD 1-2 Cas 0-3
Even though he failed more Hypnotic Gaze than he passed, Eldrilís Dodge & MA8 made a big difference on the field.
- Carbrawn
Tournaments played:
Origins, Origins 3, Origins 2
Trophies won:
Highest Player Loss: Origins 3


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